I’ve been writing a lot more on my anonymous blog recently. There’ll always be a little part of us that wants to stay private, do you know what I mean?
I think this lends itself across our relationships too. It’s good to keep a bit of the old mystery. I used to put it all ‘out there’ when I was in my 20s, I hid nothing, no secrets, no lies. But then that was a stark contrast to my teens where I had gone into shut down mode. But in my 20s, perhaps a mini social revolution was going on inside of me. You could probably read me like a book too, albeit a slightly complex one. At least, that’s what I like to think. But who am I kidding?
One thing you realise as you get older (and more wise, thankfully) is that we’re all a lot more similar than we think.
Sure we have our nuances and quirks that make us ‘us’. Plus different personality types respond differently to life’s myriad of unforeseen challenges, yet we’re all still humans – we all have emotions, get hurt, disappointed, angry or feel unfulfilled from time to time. Even the ones who enjoy the parameters of the cage, swimming in dollars within it, often head just above water (or note). They’re still human too 🙂
We talk a lot about escape. My personal and professional network, that is.
And yes if we surround ourselves by likeminded people, then our perception of how similar we all are is likely skewed. In my case, its skewed toward a bias of people who want to live a more meaningful life. I think it would be naive to suggest that most people in the world, don’t fit into this category. But of course there are plenty of people closed off to this ideology – doesn’t make them different or ‘not one of us’. Perhaps they’re not surrounded by the types of the people who make having a meaningful existence seem a possibility. Or perhaps they’re unable to consider ‘having a meaningful life’ as a concept that’s even available to them. Thinking about Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, those of us able to strive for something better are a lucky son of a bunch hey.
But there’s an element of primal need and response to this isn’t there.
When you hit a certain crossroad, faced with surmountable emotional and situational challenges, often brewing for some time: or they hit you square in the face like a cricket ball – it’s time for fight or flight.
So what do you do? What’s your primal response in such situations? Do you tend to run away or fight for your life?
This can also be interpreted in different ways.
My mum always used to think I was running away. Which is a fair thing to think because for me, when faced with particular life challenges the only thing to do would be to shake up the status quo. Often on a plane. A last minute holiday to get some headspace can be just the ticket, and whilst you can never escape your own head, you can certainly distract yourself from it!
When I was younger that worked, less so now.
But I wasn’t running away. I think I was fighting for my life.
This is not always an easy subject matter to tackle. Its very personal, and whilst we’re all kinda the same same yet different, the resolution to your own life challenges isn’t always a cookie cutter counter measure. Not everyone CAN leave the country at a moment’s notice, or their life might not be disposable like mine was.
But regardless, I’d encourage you to fight.
Fight for your life, and find your own version of what that means, because no one else will do it for you.
And even though my response mechanism was always to go somewhere new and out my comfort zone (there’s nothing like seeing the world to gain some perspective on your own) – I have definitely learned over the years that you can’t escape your own head. That bad boy is going with you, irrespective of whether you have space or not in your suitcase.
Another thing I have learned – the answers can definitely be found at home. So always start with that first.
Then follow your gut. Not literally, don’t start raiding the fridge. That’s a bad plan. And I know all about comfort eating.
But your instincts are telling you something.
Take some time out, whether in the bath or at a friends for the weekend, get some fresh air into your lungs, spend time alone. Read some books that make you think. And ask yourself/the universe/your god if you have one, what are you meant to do?
It’s always worked for me so I hope it does for you!