5 days 4 nights ‘New Life’ package

So I’m sat here looking through my photos and this one particularly grabbed me and my mind wandered back to this day. It was a very good day:


I haven’t eaten any solids since 6pm last night when I had my ‘last supper’, a delicious plate of raw Vietnamese spring roles – summer rolls, basically. The dip made them particularly digestible:


Yup, that’s right. I decided to do a fasting cleanse.

I came here with an open mind and wanted to experience something different. I felt misplaced amongst other backpackers who seemed to wanna just sit round a bonfire swapping Cambodia stories. And sure, my first thought was that unlike everyone else with their plastic bottles of liquids, and their vegetable shakes and supplements, that I could just do my own version of a cleanse. Cutting out rice, caffeine, internet work and booze. Which you can read about HERE.

But overhearing the conversations on the mini bus shuttle into town yesterday, I realised that by not doing a proper ‘fast’ I would be missing out. This is serious business – and so now, every day for the next 4 days I will be adhering to a strict regimen of no food, no booze, no caffeine; aided by supplements, special water, liver flushes, broths, detox drinks, coconut water, carrot juices and daily colonics.

Detox drink – 2 of these a day. It’s nicer than it looks.


My daily schedule…

The betonite clay in the detox drink has strong absorption power to get the nutritional benefits from all the supplements and juices. They keep you feeling full and act as a sponge to absorb toxins from the body as well as cleaning the colon. The detox drinks contain Psyllium husk and Bentonite clay with either fresh pineapple or watermelon juice. I just copied this word for word from my booklet. Sounds impressive though huh! And here’s more:

The herbal supplements are intestinal cleansers and nutrient capsules.

Imagine just how much shit there must be in my body after 34 years of eating and pooing? I just can’t get my head around it. I bet there’d be enough to fill a swimming pool.

With that in mind, I’ll be doing 1 colonic every day – administered myself (exciting!) – plus i’ll be downing  2 liver flush drinks (which tasted quite dominantly of garlic!), two ‘Spa Broths’ – plus the coconut water and carrot juice provides minerals and electrolytes during the cleanse.

So yesterday I had to do a mini pre-cleanse, which involved only eating fruits and vegetables.  It’s gone to my guts a bit, as anyone who knows me will know I have a very ‘delicate bowel’. TMI? Apologies.

So what has Day 1 brought me? I’m only half way through, but I did  a PH litmus test first thing this morning before I brushed my teeth. I think they wanted it to be more yellow as that would have suggested LOTS OF WORK TO DO. Only it came out a blueish green, meaning I’m actually QUITE GOOD. Quite good at what I’m not so sure, but either way the assurance was comforting.

I then did half an hour of meditation at 8am, followed by an hour of yoga, and at 10 I was ushered into the herbal steam bath… a sauna, basically. With herbs in the water. I had to sit in there and sweat out all my toxins for half an hour, then have a super cold shower to wash all the bad stuff away, and get back in for another half hour session.

At lunch, it was time for my first broth.

A simple affair consisting of a vegetable broth, made from the liquid that remains once you boil vegetables in it. Then you filter out all the food, leaving the broth. I dunno if this is technically how they did, but it is how it tasted. Aroy dee.

That’s Thai for delicious!  But I had to add some pepper to balance out the subtle flavour that lacked any garlic or salt.

It came in a nice bowl too, which added a certain  je ne sai quois to the ceremony of eating, which I was worried wouldn’t be a part of my routine for the next couple of days.

What’s great about the Spa at Koh Chang is that just as you’re wondering ‘what next’ on your long schedule of things you need to remember to do, someone comes and either gives you a detox juice, some fresh alkeline ‘special water’ or whisks you up onto the massage table. I just had a half hour Ampuku, which is a delicate tummy massage, given to me by the ever so sweet Ka, who giggled her way through my tummy rumbles. I fell in love with her a bit when she gave an initial assessment of my stomach, laughed and said with a hint of irony:


The massage aimed to shift everything in my intestines southward, and that it sure did – it’s impossible to avoid releasing gas, despite a default reaction to squeeze and hold it in.

Ka’s face lit up needless to say, and I got a happy thumbs up.

I’m just not sure when her second one-word assessment of Soft! was a response to my daily exfoliation, or watching Breaking Bad every night. Either way, I longed for the gym.

Actually it brought my attention to my ‘middle section’. It’s an up and down affair, sometimes we love each other, most of the time we’re getting on each other’s nerves. My belly likes food. But it also gets aggravated easily, likes to hang loose sometimes… un-tighten the belt so to speak. And i’m wondering if this fast might help it shrivel the fuck up a bit basically. I’m sure it will certainly ‘calm it the fuck down’. Anyway, I decided to document the proof, visually.

Day 1. And it looks a little bit like this aka needs work

20140121_122234     20140121_122242

Righty, signing off now. It’s time for a bit of sunbathing, and this post has taken me pretty much all day to write, what with the slow connection and myriad of photos I wanted to upload. It’s 3pm and I’m overdue a coconut water, then at 4 I might treat myself to a vegetable juice before it’s time for the biggie.

My first colema.

Don’t expect too many photos on that post 😉 But here’s one just to whet your appetite a bit:


UPDATE: Day 2 and I feel pretty low 😦 They say that’s the toxins leaving your body. Hmpf. But once they have, you’re supposed to feel bloody fantastic! Unfortunately I’ll still have to eat raw foods (fruit and veg) for 3 days after… but come Tuesday next week, I reckon there’s a Pasta con Gambeccinni out there somewhere for me! CAN’T WAIT!

Next post: On how we’re all addicted to food.